My sister Jen invited me to a healing circle that was being held at her office after hours. It was going to be for Carissa, to send her all the best vibes we could to help her get though this stage in her life and take her to the other side (so to speak) where she will emerge a stronger person.
It was wonderful, surreal and very emotional as I joined with women who (for the most part) have not met Carissa. They all know her through her blog, though.
I had no idea what was going to happen and was nervous about joining them but they were all so warmly welcoming and friendly, I couldn't help but love them all - especially after the circle ceremony. The staff room was darkened, a white scarf lay on the floor, a large eagle feather at one end and a single candle in a little holder that highlighted the symbol I had brought that belonged to Carissa. I had given Jen a pair of her shoes - she is a "shoe freak" (as I am, or was) so the ones I gave her are hot pink, sexy, strappy and ridiculously high heeled. I found myself staring at the shoes, waiting for them to say something - waiting for them to speak!
Needless to say, it was very emotional. Everyone brought at least one image to make a collage for her. She will receive it on Sunday, the day before her operation. The images were of anything that would depict health! The pictures and words meant something to the ones who brought them. The images were very diverse - mostly pictures and words cut out from magazines. It crossed my mind how appropriate these items were. Carissa loves magazines (especially fashion-type mags) so the pictures were ones she could relate to, her shoes were definitely a true symbol, and the eagle feather blew me away because all I could think of was the fictional book that Jen and I had started writing, many years ago, in which an eagle has a significant part in one chapter of the story. Each of the people in the circle took the feather and spoke. I started off because I thought that if I waited and listened to everyone else first I would not be able to choke out the words I wanted to say.
The words, "feisty'", "strong", "intelligent", "bold", "open", "beautiful" were all used - and many others as well. But the best thing about it was that all these adjectives referred to my child!
The surreal part was to hear others talk about my daughter, women who knew her only through her writings. They have read a lot of significance into her thoughts and words, relating the meanings to themselves and their beliefs. It was quite amazing - at one point it ran though my mind that I felt a little like being in an English Literature class, trying to understand the meanings of stories that reviewers have put to the writings of well known authors. She is, afterall, my child, and so my ideas of and conceptions about her have developed from years of experiencing life with her. They, on the other hand, saw images and hidden meanings that I had totally missed!
I am very thankful that I was given the opportunity to put myself in the background and listen to what others thought of my girl. It is not often that we are given such a gift. What a lesson I learned about how I will look at all my children from now on ....Astounding!!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Blue Velvet Tunnel
Before our Emily was born we were grandparents-in-waiting. We were so excited about seeing a new generation of McCart/De Lucas emerge that we wanted to do everything we could to help. We think Emily was just too darned happy about being born and couldn't wait. She was a preemie, a very small preemie, but she is now almost 14 and is the most wonderful athlete, scholar and beautiful young woman anyone could want for a granddaughter. Emily's Mom had problems sleeping before Emily was born, and the doctor kept prescribing proper sleep. Better said than done, I say.
I decided to go into the Internet, brand new for me at that time, and found a marvelous lady from the US, her name was Cris Bronson. She had been an engineer at Ford and had created some sleep tapes. The name of her tape was "Blue Velvet Tunnel". People who had trouble going to sleep could listen to Cris's gentle soothing voice and it would put them into dreamland. I received one in the mail and Emily's Mom tried it. She went to bed, laid down, plugged into Cris's tape and dropped right off to sleep! It was amazing!
I was so impressed that I contacted Cris again and we made a business agreement for me to sell her tapes for her. I bought a box of them and tried my hand at it. Everyone bought one that I knew and I think I gave away a few as well - but I never quite broke out of my small circle of friends. My marketing skills were not as good as I thought they were, I guess.
I never was able to afford to buy any more from Cris and I think she was very diappointed with me. In later years I tried to contact her several times but could never find her on the internet, which is very strange - as the internet never forgets anything!
I often wonder where she is and how she is. Although we never met, I thought of her as my friend for a short while. Maybe someday she will contact me when she sees this blog with the name of her tape on it. I can only hope! I have another grandchild named Sam now and his mom and dad have been playing the tape for him so he can go to sleep easier - it works for him too!
If I could contact Cris, I would tell her that I still think of her and want to thank her for letting me share in part of her life.
I decided to go into the Internet, brand new for me at that time, and found a marvelous lady from the US, her name was Cris Bronson. She had been an engineer at Ford and had created some sleep tapes. The name of her tape was "Blue Velvet Tunnel". People who had trouble going to sleep could listen to Cris's gentle soothing voice and it would put them into dreamland. I received one in the mail and Emily's Mom tried it. She went to bed, laid down, plugged into Cris's tape and dropped right off to sleep! It was amazing!
I was so impressed that I contacted Cris again and we made a business agreement for me to sell her tapes for her. I bought a box of them and tried my hand at it. Everyone bought one that I knew and I think I gave away a few as well - but I never quite broke out of my small circle of friends. My marketing skills were not as good as I thought they were, I guess.
I never was able to afford to buy any more from Cris and I think she was very diappointed with me. In later years I tried to contact her several times but could never find her on the internet, which is very strange - as the internet never forgets anything!
I often wonder where she is and how she is. Although we never met, I thought of her as my friend for a short while. Maybe someday she will contact me when she sees this blog with the name of her tape on it. I can only hope! I have another grandchild named Sam now and his mom and dad have been playing the tape for him so he can go to sleep easier - it works for him too!
If I could contact Cris, I would tell her that I still think of her and want to thank her for letting me share in part of her life.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Was it all the food or was it all that love?
What do I remember most about the parties that my Mom and Dad took me to when I was a child? My sisters and I were never left at home with a babysitter, we were always part of the fun. I think in those days there were many more children around! So we would play with each other,while our parents had their own fun, but we were always together.
I remember the singing, the laughing, the food, the food, the food ... and the wonderful love that travelled amongst the people who were my Mother and Father's friends. In later years I found out that most of the people who were at the parties were relatives! How lucky I was to have so many people in my life that were related to me!
I am often teased that I am too family oriented, but I cannot help it, my parents taught me to love family and I want my children and their children to have that same love ... so far it is working. But ... sometimes when the parties get really noisy and the preparation and the work gets tiresome, I wonder what it would be like to be solitary. Not for long though. I know that my grandchildren will have good family memories when they grow up ... especially the parties with the laughter, the comraderie and, of course, the food.
Today, it seems sad that often, menbers of a family are isolated from each other. Everyone is too busy to make time for their family. Lives and careers separate family members. For reasons that are sometimes hard to understand, family members have not learned to "be there" or ask for help from the very people who should be able to be there for them.
I am often teased that I am too family oriented, but I cannot help it, my parents taught me to love family and I want my children and their children to have that same love ... so far it is working. But ... sometimes when the parties get really noisy and the preparation and the work gets tiresome, I wonder what it would be like to be solitary. Not for long though. I know that my grandchildren will have good family memories when they grow up ... especially the parties with the laughter, the comraderie and, of course, the food.
I remember the singing, the laughing, the food, the food, the food ... and the wonderful love that travelled amongst the people who were my Mother and Father's friends. In later years I found out that most of the people who were at the parties were relatives! How lucky I was to have so many people in my life that were related to me!
I am often teased that I am too family oriented, but I cannot help it, my parents taught me to love family and I want my children and their children to have that same love ... so far it is working. But ... sometimes when the parties get really noisy and the preparation and the work gets tiresome, I wonder what it would be like to be solitary. Not for long though. I know that my grandchildren will have good family memories when they grow up ... especially the parties with the laughter, the comraderie and, of course, the food.
Today, it seems sad that often, menbers of a family are isolated from each other. Everyone is too busy to make time for their family. Lives and careers separate family members. For reasons that are sometimes hard to understand, family members have not learned to "be there" or ask for help from the very people who should be able to be there for them.
I am often teased that I am too family oriented, but I cannot help it, my parents taught me to love family and I want my children and their children to have that same love ... so far it is working. But ... sometimes when the parties get really noisy and the preparation and the work gets tiresome, I wonder what it would be like to be solitary. Not for long though. I know that my grandchildren will have good family memories when they grow up ... especially the parties with the laughter, the comraderie and, of course, the food.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
My World is Better than Ever
This may seem strange to say because the last time I posted, my daughter had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I was feeling like I just wanted to jump off a horrible spinning world.
Jan 4 2011 - and my world is still spinning, but in a more controlled, easier way. We are still a long way from calling her a cancer survivor. My daughter has been through chemo, is in the middle of radiation and is now facing surgery in Feb/Mar which will change the shape of her body forever.
Her blogs have kept me and so many others informed about what is going on. Not the stories you read that the Cancer Society deems to publish on their requests for donations - they have their place too - but true, happy, sad, angry and often teaching stories that she has wrapped up into wonderful reading for all of us. Her followers await her new entries with anticipation.
There has been so much emotional "growth" in my life lately - I may be getting old and hard of hearing as I mentioned before but I guess I am never too old to learn as I did when I was a kid! This time it is my daughter who is teaching me! My next post will be all about the change in our lives with the new food program that she has initiated for us and that we (my husband and I) are into at the start of this new year of 2011.
Jan 4 2011 - and my world is still spinning, but in a more controlled, easier way. We are still a long way from calling her a cancer survivor. My daughter has been through chemo, is in the middle of radiation and is now facing surgery in Feb/Mar which will change the shape of her body forever.
Her blogs have kept me and so many others informed about what is going on. Not the stories you read that the Cancer Society deems to publish on their requests for donations - they have their place too - but true, happy, sad, angry and often teaching stories that she has wrapped up into wonderful reading for all of us. Her followers await her new entries with anticipation.
There has been so much emotional "growth" in my life lately - I may be getting old and hard of hearing as I mentioned before but I guess I am never too old to learn as I did when I was a kid! This time it is my daughter who is teaching me! My next post will be all about the change in our lives with the new food program that she has initiated for us and that we (my husband and I) are into at the start of this new year of 2011.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Stop the World, I Wanna Get Off
In 1966 I remember there was a musical that was called this and the reason I remember is because I was newly married, had one child, was pregnant with another and we were moving from the middle of Canada to the West Coast again.That is exactly what I felt like at that time!
Help, I would yell to whoever would listen (not, of course to anyone who could help me) but just to whoever it was out there who was controlling the world I was spinning on.But, twenty-four hours would pass and then another and then another ... you get the picture, and I was still whirling, like everyone else.
I am now much older (definitely not a lot wiser) but I feel like yelling out loud again, these exact same words. I have been through a very busy life, mostly with ups, a few downs, two bouts with the big C that I have, so far managed to keep at bay. Then, along comes life and socks me a worse slap than I have ever had.
My daughter, my beautiful daughter who is not even 40 yet has been diagnosed with breast cancer. What do I do about it? Run around, offering child care, cookies and hugs to everyone and being a strong Mom, the one who is getting very hard of hearing and so misses so much of the explanations and the spoken plans. Deaf I may be, but I think it allows me more opportunity to feel all the emotion that underlies the quiet strength that my daughter has. I admire the mother in her who loves her 5 and 2 year old with such fierceness but she is still my little girl, my shy, funny, affectionate child, the answer to my dream to produce a daughter, after having 2 wonderful sons. The girl who would stand up for her friends with no fear for her own safety, the young woman who has such a talent for design and writing.
I am in this fight with her, all the way. I will give my heart and soul to cure her of this absolutely dispicable thing that has her in its clutches. I did it, and I'm not even wonderful like she is!
Even now, as she takes on the armaments of her own personal battle, I am in awe of her bravery. I also know how scary the new world she is facing can be. I love her with everything I can give her and more.
Help, I would yell to whoever would listen (not, of course to anyone who could help me) but just to whoever it was out there who was controlling the world I was spinning on.But, twenty-four hours would pass and then another and then another ... you get the picture, and I was still whirling, like everyone else.
I am now much older (definitely not a lot wiser) but I feel like yelling out loud again, these exact same words. I have been through a very busy life, mostly with ups, a few downs, two bouts with the big C that I have, so far managed to keep at bay. Then, along comes life and socks me a worse slap than I have ever had.
My daughter, my beautiful daughter who is not even 40 yet has been diagnosed with breast cancer. What do I do about it? Run around, offering child care, cookies and hugs to everyone and being a strong Mom, the one who is getting very hard of hearing and so misses so much of the explanations and the spoken plans. Deaf I may be, but I think it allows me more opportunity to feel all the emotion that underlies the quiet strength that my daughter has. I admire the mother in her who loves her 5 and 2 year old with such fierceness but she is still my little girl, my shy, funny, affectionate child, the answer to my dream to produce a daughter, after having 2 wonderful sons. The girl who would stand up for her friends with no fear for her own safety, the young woman who has such a talent for design and writing.
I am in this fight with her, all the way. I will give my heart and soul to cure her of this absolutely dispicable thing that has her in its clutches. I did it, and I'm not even wonderful like she is!
Even now, as she takes on the armaments of her own personal battle, I am in awe of her bravery. I also know how scary the new world she is facing can be. I love her with everything I can give her and more.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Our Western Canadian Family Meets our Eastern Canadian Family by Madeline DeLuca Dent
Now, when I look back on our trip to Timmins I realize that it was a reconnection for our Dad. There were so many folks living there that he had either lived with in Villa S. Lucia, Carrufo or Ofena; got to know on the trip to Canada; or had made friends in Vancouver with those that had relatives in Timmins. It was a great trip!!!
We made the trip to there in the summer of 1948....Jennifer was less than 2 years old.
We went in a 1941 Ford and returned safely with only one flat tire along the whole route. At that time there was no Trans Canada Highway. I believe the trip took 7 days to get there and 7 to return. We went through the United States, I think on Highway 10 most of the way - then made our way as far East as Duluth and then north to Canadian Highways and onto Sault St. Marie, where we started visiting and stayed one night with some of Dad's friends. Then onto Timmins! We came bearing gifts from friends and relatives back in Vancouver. Our car was loaded!!
It seemed everybody we knew in Vancouver had relatives living in Timmins. Marietta Moscone had sisters and Catherine Ciccone had sisters as well. Marietta was a Celli before marriage and I believe Catherine's maiden name was DiMarco.
I think we stayed almost two weeks in Timmins and during that time we were invited to either lunch or supper at a different place every time. Timmins was where I celebrated my 12th birthday and Helen & Tony DeLuca put on a big party at their home. Dad seemed to have so many friends there...or many were related to our friends in Vancouver. I think we were the first British Columbians to visit Timmins! They thought we all lived in Teepees, I recall. ( Must have been too much advertising for the Calgary Stampede!)
I think we took some day trips to Schmaker and South Porcupine. Someone wanted us to visit Kirkland Lake too, but it was too far east.
When we safely returned home, our Dad kissed the car after parking it in our house's underground garage!
Oh, what memories!
Ciao for now
M :)
We made the trip to there in the summer of 1948....Jennifer was less than 2 years old.
We went in a 1941 Ford and returned safely with only one flat tire along the whole route. At that time there was no Trans Canada Highway. I believe the trip took 7 days to get there and 7 to return. We went through the United States, I think on Highway 10 most of the way - then made our way as far East as Duluth and then north to Canadian Highways and onto Sault St. Marie, where we started visiting and stayed one night with some of Dad's friends. Then onto Timmins! We came bearing gifts from friends and relatives back in Vancouver. Our car was loaded!!
It seemed everybody we knew in Vancouver had relatives living in Timmins. Marietta Moscone had sisters and Catherine Ciccone had sisters as well. Marietta was a Celli before marriage and I believe Catherine's maiden name was DiMarco.
I think we stayed almost two weeks in Timmins and during that time we were invited to either lunch or supper at a different place every time. Timmins was where I celebrated my 12th birthday and Helen & Tony DeLuca put on a big party at their home. Dad seemed to have so many friends there...or many were related to our friends in Vancouver. I think we were the first British Columbians to visit Timmins! They thought we all lived in Teepees, I recall. ( Must have been too much advertising for the Calgary Stampede!)
I think we took some day trips to Schmaker and South Porcupine. Someone wanted us to visit Kirkland Lake too, but it was too far east.
When we safely returned home, our Dad kissed the car after parking it in our house's underground garage!
Oh, what memories!
Ciao for now
M :)
Saturday, March 27, 2010
From Abruzzo with Love - Picnic 2007
There is nothing quite like an Italian Picnic. These folks attended one in Vancouver at John Hendry Park in August of 2007. Many picnickers had already left before we were able to group everyone together. It was a wonderful day and a great chance to meet old friends/relatives.
This is an invitation to come to this page any time you want and write your comments. Send me pictures etc. if you wish to share them!
We are having another Abruzzo reunion picnic this August (2010) at the same park (also known as Trout Lake). Watch this blog for all the information you will need. We are sending out invitations and this blog will keep everyone informed.
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