A Healing Circle

My sister Jen invited me to a healing circle that was being held at her office after hours. It was going to be for Carissa, to send her all the best vibes we could to help her get though this stage in her life and take her to the other side (so to speak) where she will emerge a stronger person.


It was wonderful, surreal and very emotional as I joined with women who (for the most part) have not met Carissa. They all know her through her blog, though.

I had no idea what was going to happen and was nervous about joining them but they were all so warmly welcoming and friendly, I couldn't help but love them all - especially after the circle ceremony. The staff room was darkened, a white scarf lay on the floor, a large eagle feather at one end and a single candle in a little holder that highlighted the symbol I had brought that belonged to Carissa. I had given Jen a pair of her shoes - she is a "shoe freak" (as I am, or was) so the ones I gave her are hot pink, sexy, strappy and ridiculously high heeled. I found myself staring at the shoes, waiting for them to say something - waiting for them to speak!

Needless to say, it was very emotional. Everyone brought at least one image to make a collage for her. She will receive it on Sunday, the day before her operation. The images were of anything that would depict health! The pictures and words meant something to the ones who brought them. The images were very diverse - mostly pictures and words cut out from magazines. It crossed my mind how appropriate these items were. Carissa loves magazines (especially fashion-type mags) so the pictures were ones she could relate to, her shoes were definitely a true symbol, and the eagle feather blew me away because all I could think of was the fictional book that Jen and I had started writing, many years ago, in which an eagle has a significant part in one chapter of the story. Each of the people in the circle took the feather and spoke. I started off because I thought that if I waited and listened to everyone else first I would not be able to choke out the words I wanted to say.

The words, "feisty'", "strong", "intelligent", "bold", "open", "beautiful" were all used - and many others as well. But the best thing about it was that all these adjectives referred to my child!

The surreal part was to hear others talk about my daughter, women who knew her only through her writings. They have read a lot of significance into her thoughts and words, relating the meanings to themselves and their beliefs. It was quite amazing - at one point it ran though my mind that I felt a little like being in an English Literature class, trying to understand the meanings of stories that reviewers have put to the writings of well known authors. She is, afterall, my child, and so my ideas of and conceptions about her have developed from years of experiencing life with her. They, on the other hand, saw images and hidden meanings that I had totally missed!

I am very thankful that I was given the opportunity to put myself in the background and listen to what others thought of my girl. It is not often that we are given such a gift. What a lesson I learned about how I will look at all my children from now on ....Astounding!!

The Blue Velvet Tunnel

Before our Emily was born we were grandparents-in-waiting.  We were so excited about seeing a new generation of McCart/De Lucas emerge that we wanted to do everything we could to help.  We think Emily was just too darned happy about being born and couldn't wait.  She was a preemie, a very small preemie, but she is now almost 14 and is the most wonderful athlete, scholar and beautiful young woman anyone could want for a granddaughter.  Emily's Mom had problems sleeping before Emily was born, and the doctor kept prescribing proper sleep.  Better said than done, I say.

I decided to go into the Internet, brand new for me at that time, and found a marvelous lady from the US, her name was Cris Bronson.  She had been an engineer at Ford and had created some sleep tapes.  The name of her tape was "Blue Velvet Tunnel".  People who had trouble going to sleep could listen to Cris's gentle soothing voice and it would put them into dreamland.  I received one in the mail and Emily's Mom tried it.  She went to bed, laid down, plugged into Cris's tape and dropped right off to sleep!  It was amazing!

I was so impressed that I contacted Cris again and we made a business agreement for me to sell her tapes for her.  I bought a box of them and tried my hand at it.  Everyone bought one that I knew and I think I gave away a few as well - but I never quite broke out of my small circle of friends.  My marketing skills were not as good as I thought they were, I guess.

I never was able to afford to buy any more from Cris and I think she was very diappointed with me.  In later years I tried to contact her several times but could never find her on the internet, which is very strange - as the internet never forgets anything!

I often wonder where she is and how she is.  Although we never met, I thought of her as my friend for a short while.  Maybe someday she will contact me when she sees this blog with the name of her tape on it.  I can only hope!  I have another grandchild named Sam now and his mom and dad have been playing the tape for him so he can go to sleep easier - it works for him too!

If I could contact Cris, I would tell her that I still think of her and want to thank her for letting me share in part of her life.